Don't You Love It When...
By SGW Ed Rodebush

1. You have started your patrol truck and stepped out for a second and since its winter you shut the door. Those automatic door locks do their job and you are locked out. No problem, your partner has a set of keys also ...to bad he is 40 miles away on his day off. It doesn't help either that you are in the parking lot of a busy building at 2 pm.

2. A guy calls and asks if he can keep the deer he just hit with his pickup. Being always on the lookout for a violation, you grab the deer by the ear and drag the deer toward your face to look for a bullet hole in the head. You failed to notice the stomach of the deer was severely bloated due to a busted gut. Just as you get within a few inches of the face, this gas is released in a belch right in your face. Trying to be macho and not vomit was very hard.

3. Being the ever polite officer you ask the fisherman, "Mam may I see your fishing license?" At this time you figure out this lady is a man.

4. Still being the polite officer, you ask a middle aged lady holding a baby for her fishing license and also brag on her pretty grandchild. She proceeds to let me know that is her child and that she has another on the way. I really can't remember if she had a license or not.

5. Your walking the creek banks in the spring checking fishermen. Being as sneaky as possible, you spot movement in the weeds. Doing your best stalk job you observe what should be someone fishing. Instead you find a lady answering a call to mother nature. Here again I don't know if she had a license or not.

6. You introduce yourself to the new deputy, he replies I know you already because you taught me my Hunter Safety Class. Still not making the connection you ask when was that? He replies 15 years ago when I was 12.

7. During a break at your Hunter Ed Class a father in the class introduces you to his 4 year old son. You shake hands with the little guy and continue to visit with his father. That's when the kid lets go with a horizontal full force hit into your groin. And there you are trying not to cry.

8. You approach a boat under the bridge on a night patrol. You ask the man for his fishing license. He sets his rod down and opens his wallet and starts the search for his license. At that very instant a large sandbass or catfish hits and over into 50 ft. of water goes the rod and reel. Again I don't remember if he had a license or not.

The first time in your life that the fast food waitress asks you "Do you get a senior citizens discount?" you happen to be with a younger Game Warden that cracks up and gives you hell the rest of the day.

10. You can walk into a room and not remember, why you are there, but you can remember all this embarrassing stuff thats happened over the years.